Why Donuts are better than Oatmeal (Revised for 2020)

Sometime long ago, someone dropped flour into the primordial hot oil and up rose the prehistoric donut, and since that time the donut has spread to every corner of the globe.

Most cultures have their own version, from the French Beignet, to the German Berliner, to the Italian Zeppole.  But for the past 200 years, the donut has been a quintessentially American pastry.

Yeast, cake, or filled.  Frosted, glazed, plain, powdered, cream filled, custard filled, jelly filled, fruit filled, coconut, peanut, cinnamon, sour cream, and even chocolate, there’s a taste for everyone.

Here in Wilkesboro we have 3 options, Day-old Fund-Raiser Krispy Kremes, Dunkin Donuts, and now Dixie Donuts.  ***2020 EDIT:  WE ALSO HAVE DOM BAKERIES TOO!!! 

But very soon, if my doctor has her way, donuts will be off my list.  It seems that as I approach 40, I need to start worrying about my heart, my weight, my colon, and all these other things.  She wants me to eat healthier, more vegetables, less meat, more exercise, less stress, and most of all, more oatmeal.  More oatmeal?  I stopped eating paste in kindergarten!

With this in mind I would like to explain to you why I feel that Donuts are actually better for you than Oatmeal.

Oatmeal CAN BE absolutely delicious! Once you add brown sugar, cinnamon, maple syrup, blueberries, milk, and/or chocolate chips, you have had to doctor it up to the point where it has lost any nutritional value.  Donuts are absolutely delicious.  The only thing you have to add to improve a donut is add another donut.

Photo Credit  ainna1102

Oatmeal is quick, convenient, and relatively inexpensive per serving.  I can’t call ahead my order for Oatmeal.  I have Dixie Donuts on speed dial.  Per serving, Oatmeal is more expensive than a lot of other breakfast foods including eggs and toast.  As for convenience, I can’t drive and eat oatmeal. I can drive and eat a donut.

Photo Credit Naked Truth Nutritionist

Oatmeal contains a wide array of vitamins, minerals and antioxidants and is a good source of protein, complex carbohydrates and iron.  Blah Blah Blah.  Donuts contain wheat which is full of vitamins and minerals, and donuts are great sources for simple carbohydrates which are easy for the body to digest and give you quick energy.

Photo Credit spike55151

Oatmeal can help you control your weight.  If you lose weight by skipping breakfast, then yes, oatmeal can help you lose weight.  Any time you skip a meal, your body goes into “fasting mode”. During this fasting, carbohydrates, proteins, and fats are all used for energy. Carbohydrates are the number one source of fuel, followed by protein and then fat, and donuts are excellent sources of carbohydrates and fat.

Photo Credit Lilu Interiors

You probably already have oats in your kitchen.  You probably also have tuna fish, hot sauce, green beans, and salad in your kitchen.  Those wouldn’t make a very good breakfast either.  Oatmeal is a breakfast food.  Donuts can be eaten anytime you’d like, but especially breakfast.  And as an added bonus, you can dunk donuts in coffee.  You can’t dunk oatmeal in coffee.






Oatmeal may help lower cholesterol and reduce the risk of heart disease.  Eating oatmeal may reduce the risk for type 2 diabetes.  A diet that includes oatmeal may help reduce high blood pressure.  The fiber and other nutrients found in oatmeal may actually reduce the risk for certain cancers.  Wow, it’s the miracle food.  But donuts are diet food too.  Donuts have less fat and calories than regular pastries.  Isn’t it obvious? Just look at the hole in the middle.

2020 EDIT:  It is unlikely that prehistoric man could possibly have anticipated the impact of the invention of the donut? But today, with the world on fire, let's pause for a moment and sit down with our fellow man  and enjoy the simple pleasure of a donut, and maybe a cup of coffee. perhaps in sharing this most American of pastries we can come to an understanding and begin to heal our broken society

No recipe today, until next time, I wish you Peace, Love, and Hollandaise Sauce.

"Wuthering Heights" with a side of bacon EDITED

EDIT: THIS BLOG HAD BEEN TAKEN DOWN DUE TO DMCA.  IF YOU BELIEVE THAT YOU HAVE CONTENT THAT SHOULD NOT BE HERE, PLEASE CONTACT ME DIRECTLY AND I WILL TAKE IT DOWN IMMEDIATELY.  YOUR ANONYMOUS ACTIONS BASICALLY BROUGHT THIS BLOG TO A GRINDING HALT FOR MONTHS WHILE I TRIED TO RESEARCH WHAT YOU WANTED REMOVED (WHOEVER "YOU" ARE).  THIS BLOG IS BACK UP FOR EVERYONE ELSE, PLEASE ENJOY!

DL: Today I'd like to introduce to you Alex. She may occasionally guest blog for me.

What should I blog about tonight?

Photo Credit
 like_the_grand_canyon

AL: At the question, "What should I blog about tonight?" my answer was needles. How we got to bacon, I don't know, but I can tell you that some people would rather poke themselves with a thousand needles than bear 400 pages of British literature. For many of those people bacon makes things better (including asparagus, McDoubles, and tales of the despondent histories of the Yorkshire moors).



DL: True, bacon does make many things better. I don't see how it would help needles though. I definitely see how it could help British Lit, but it would take a lot of bacon, and maybe chocolate. What were they eating in the story you were reading? The "Editor-in-Chief" keeps reminding me that this is supposed to be a food blog, so I need to include a recipe at some point.

AL: The English language is all about Thinking Sideways, so please turn this around for the Editor-in-chief: gruel, lumpy oatmeal, bread crusts, and coffee. Please realize that the late 16th century setting put you in a dank kitchen with a "kitchen fire". Have fun with that.



DL: How depressing! I forgot how much I hated British lit in high school. But I do like coffee. So a dank kitchen with a kitchen fire. Was it smoky? Were there rats? And if there were crusts of bread, what happened to the rest of the bread?

AL: Their lives are too sad for the rest of the bread.

AL: Honestly, though, did you seriously just ask me if there were rats? I think the better question would be "Were there zombies?" Yes, master, I stole your line, and you must realize by now that I'm working on my vengeful plot to steal your estate and rights to your blog. I'm half way there.

 Mwahahahahaha (this is totally a word).

 As I was saying about zombies. Once in the book, a character was on his way back to the Heights and stopped by the market in the village with his eye on the mule with the wobbly ankle to carry the ingredients for his gruel all the way back to his estate. I could only wish Emily Bronte would Think so Sideways (Ha! I did it again!) FYI: it is my personal belief that Lady Gaga wrote Bad Romance about this book. Soon, it will be the anthem for this blog. That's right, Lady Gaga, you just keep Thinking...um...Sideways if that's what you call it. So, tell me how a zombie might tackle the greasy, gruelly, crusty, caffeinated challenge of Wuthering Heights with a side of bacon.




The Greasy, Gruelly, Crusty, Caffeinated Aftermath

I really can't say I'm surprised. She wants to steal my estate and the rights to my blog. At her age I wanted to rule the world (no, really I did... one of the issues I'm still working through in therapy: my frustrated megalomania). In fact, I still have my copy of the UN Charter with all of my crib notes on how to change it into a federal system and install myself as president of the Earth. Ah, dreams...

Anyway... Phyllis wants recipes. Alex wants it to be related to depressing Wuthering Heights: gruel, crusts of bread, coffee...

I think I can work with this.

First off, what is gruel? Simply put, gruel is a food preparation consisting of some type of cereal: millet, barley, oat, wheat, rye, or rice that is boiled in water or milk. Gruel is associated with poverty, So really any thin soup or boiled cereal preparation that is used. But I have been challenged to live up to the name of blog "Think sideways". Okay.

Gruel (my way)

Ingredients

• 1/2 cup of Old Fashioned Oats
• 1/2 cup of Half and Half
• 3/4 cup of Earl Grey Tea, Hot
• 1/4 cup of currants or raisins
• 1 cup of water
• pinch of salt
• 1 tablespoon sugar
• 1 teaspoon butter

Instructions

1. Place currants in tea and allow to hydrate for 10 minutes.
2. Remove currants. Roll in sugar.
3. Place remaining tea and Half and Half into small saucepan. Bring to low simmer. Caution! Do not allow Half and Half to come to full boil or liquid may burn.
4. Add Oatmeal and salt to saucepan. Raise heat. The oatmeal flakes will absorb the water and expand. Leave it until it bubbles.
5. Lower the heat to medium when the oatmeal begins to get bubbly. Stir the pot and let it cook 2-3 minutes more.
6. Cover and remove from heat. The residual heat should cook the oatmeal the rest of the way 5-7 minutes.
7. Remove from saucepan and serve with sugared currants and butter.

Hail Britannia!
Earl Grey Tea and Currants!

Hah. That wasn't even worth my time. Let's see, what's next? "Crusts of Bread." Oh, I have so got this one.

Crusts of Bread (my way)

Ingredients

• 1 small loaf French bread
• 6 eggs yolks
• 1 can sweetened condensed milk
• 1/2 teaspoon salt
• 1/4 cup + 2 tablespoons sugar
• 1 teaspoon vanilla extract
• 1/2 teaspoon cinnamon
• OPTIONAL: 1/2 cup raisins and or 2 tablespoons cognac
  

Instructions

1. Preheat oven to 350 degrees
2. Grease a 9x14 glass baking pan
3. Beat egg yolks an 1/4 sugar until smooth
4. Add sweetened condensed milk, salt, and extract to egg mixture. Mix thoroughly.
5. Tear up bread unto bite size pieces and place into thick single layer in pan.
6. Cover bread with egg mixture.
7. Add raisins and/or cognac if desired
8. Sprinkle remaining 2 tablespoons sugar and cinnamon over top
9. Bake for 35 to 45 minutes or until a toothpick inserted into center comes out clean.

As crusts of bread go, I think that looks pretty darn tasty, eh? Should make a good breakfast or dessert. Serve it with a little creme fraiche and you'll forget completely about the zombie hordes ready to consume London.

Now comes the hard one, the coffee. You see, believe it or not, I am a simple man with simple tastes. I like a good cup a joe. Nothing fancy, nothing foofy. Sure I like the occasional Espresso or Latte, but normally I want a good cup of coffee. But since I need to think sideways... (I'm going to cheat on this one though)

Coffee (food.com's way)

Ingredients

• 1 (2 1/2 ounce) package instant vanilla pudding
• 1 (2 1/2 ounce) package chocolate instant pudding
• 3 cups milk
• 1 cup coffee, chilled. (don't use a flavored coffee.)
• whipped cream

Instructions

1. Follow the directions on the package for preparing the vanilla pudding: add 2 cups of cold milk and pudding mix in a bowl and whisk for two minutes.
2. In a separate bowl, prepare the chocolate pudding. The directions call for 2 cups of milk. Instead, put in 1 1/2 cups of milk and 1/2 cup of chilled coffee and pudding mix in a bowl and whisk for two minutes.
3. Transfer about 4 tablespoons of the vanilla and 4 tablespoons of the chocolate pudding to a third bowl. Add 2 more tablespoons of coffee to this batch. Whisk this batch. It should appear a few shades lighter than the chocolate pudding's color. Drink the remainder of the coffee.
4. Layer in cups or parfait glasses. Refrigerate for five minutes. Garnish with whipped cream before serving. (1)
   

You have your gruel, your crust of bread, and your coffee. The only thing I haven't given you yet is the side of bacon.


Okay, that wasn't nice. Funny, but not nice. What I was going to do was give you a little bit of advice.

1. Look for Applewood smoked bacon. It is available occasionally, and it is very good.
2. Finish your bacon before you serve it by putting real maple syrup in your pan to candy the bacon a little.
3. Always ask your guests how they like their bacon. People are as picky about their bacon as they are their eggs. Your guests will appreciate it.
   

I've a good time with Alex's challenges today. I hope she has as much fun with British Lit (mwa-ha-ha - that would be the proper spelling per Dilbert) as I did writing today's blog. Alex - watch out for Zombies!

I want to thank a lot of you for the positive messages I've gotten over the last 24 hours. I really do have a lot of fun writing this blog and to know that you guys are reading it and are looking forward to the next installment means a lot to me. So in the immortal words of Chip Diller:

Until next time, I wish you Peace, Love, and Hollandaise Sauce


(1) http://www.food.com/recipe/cafe-au-lait-pudding-233763

Coffee... Kickstarter... Comics

Hello everyone. I'm back after another hiatus. I keep having these nice long breaks where life tries to interfere.  What's new with you?

If you'll pardon the overused metaphor, I have pigeonholed myself with the blog.  I am more than a cook, and some of my earlier blog posts can attest to that.  So you should expect to see more blogs with a broader point of view.

For tonight though, I thought I would start by reexamining one of my favorite topics, coffee.

First go check out one of my older posts:

• 100 Things you should eat before you die #2: Jamaican Blue Mountain Coffee

Next, go check out Coffee Cup News.  I admit it, I'm a snob about coffee.  Twitter has let me indulge this lately and I've found a community of people that share this love for this wonderful elixir of life.  One of the best resources has been @CoffeeCupNews.  They have a wonderful article listing the Top 10 interesting facts about coffee (http://coffeecupnews.org/top-10-list-interesting-facts-about-coffee/)

Finally, if you follow Kickstarter then you should checkout the red cup.  Monthly, Micro-roasted Coffee Subscriptions, a food project in Washington D.C.  This group has 20 days left to raise about $10,000.  

Try several coffee samples before you buy the whole bag!

Through a monthly sampling box, you get to DISCOVER and LEARN about great micro-roasted coffee* around the US. If you like the coffee, come to our secure, convenient, and central website to buy more of it!

We'll ensure consistent quality and taste by only coarse-grinding our coffees. AND! Depending on the subscription, you'll receive a free French press.

Equally important, you help us help the SMALL micro-roasters around the US. These micro-roasters would love you to fall in love with their coffee, but don't have the means to reach you. We will help you learn more about the people behind the beans, taste their passion, and make these micro-roasters household names through a blog and other media.

*Through the roasting process, coffee is transformed from a green cherry to a delicious brown bean. This is THE most important factor that contributes to a coffee's taste. Micro-roasters are shops that roast coffee in small batches with 100% of their attention - achieving a taste and quality that is NOT POSSIBLE on the industrial scale.

When you subscribe, you can get coarse ground or (JOY!) whole bean.

So go check out the red cup and donate (right now, but please come back)

Kickstarter Segway! (photo credit friscr)

Speaking of Kickstarter you should also go check out The Dixie Stenberg mini-comic!

www.pendantaudio.com

I've mentioned Pendant Audio before, they produce some fantastic podcasts.  Many of their productions originally came from the DC Comic Book universe.  Turn about is fair play!

This project will create a mini-comic adaptation of an original audio show produced by Pendant Productions (PendantAudio.com).

"The Dixie Stenberg and Brassy Battalion Adventure Theater" was Pendant's first (and most popular) original show! Join daring test pilot Dixie Stenberg as she fights the Nazis with robots, rayguns and moxie to spare!

Since 2004, all of Pendant's shows have been created and distributed for free. 

We are producing this mini-comic so we can gauge interest and possibly produce full-length comics in the future. We have a full creative team working on this project right now!

This campaign will fund the art and printing costs of producing the mini-comic, written by Jeffrey and Susan Bridges with pencils by Jerry Gaylord, an Umket ad by Peng-Peng, and colors by Bryan "Flash" Turner!

NOTE: When we say "mini," we mean it will only have nine interior pages. We are printing this at full color, full comic size! Woo!

Printing will be completed no later than July 2012.

The last time I checked, they were almost 75% of the way there!  Let's help them beat the goal and surpass it.  This is a very well written series - please go listen to it!

In the spirit of Coffee and WWII let's close today's blog with a recipe:

(Adapted from Heritage Recipes http://www.heritagerecipes.com/cookies/war-cookies-cake.htm and Jugalbandi http://jugalbandi.info/2007/12/fruit-and-nut-war-cake/)

1942 War Cake

(Photo credit FotoosVanRobin)

1/2 cup shortening

1 teaspoon cinnamon

1 teaspoon of other spices: ground cloves, mace, ginger

1 cup chopped raisins or other dried fruits

2 tablespoons orange zest

1/2 cup white sugar

1/2 cup brown sugar

1 cup water

2 cups all purpose flour

1/4 teaspoon soda

2 teaspoons baking powder

Boil together the sugar, shortening, raisins, dates, orange zest, salt and spices for 3 minutes. Remove from heat and cool. Sift together flour, baking powder and baking soda. When cool, add flour, baking soda and baking powder and beat well. Pour into a greased 9x5 inch loaf pan and bake at 350 degrees for 45 min to an hour.  Or you can use a bundt pan for 35 minutes.  The cake is done when a toothpick inserted can be removed cleanly.

(Photo credit copyright 2007 Jugalbandi.info)

There you go folks!  We've covered coffee, Kickstarter, and comics.  Now go be an angel and support Pendant and red cup.  While you're at, click on ad or two and support me too.  Throw me a bone would ya?

Until next time, I wish you peace, love, and hollandaise sauce!