Changing a Turkey into a Butterfly (also known as Turkeymorphosis)

We had turkey for dinner last night.

"Objection! It's not the holidays! You can't have turkey unless it's Thanksgiving, or Christmas-time. The official dates for eating turkey are from the fourth Thursday in November until the end of December. It is to be cooked until it is dry, stuffed full of bread, and served with canned cranberry sauce. "

Check out around :27 seconds

Your objection is overruled. Turkey is tasty anytime of year. If you go get a sandwich, do you wait until November to get a Turkey club? No. So why wait to cook a turkey? Plus, if you have left overs, you can make that turkey club sandwich the next day. And who doesn't love a turkey club sandwich. (I think I want a turkey club sandwich now).

"Objection! Turkey is expensive! The only time it's reasonable to buy is around Thanksgiving, otherwise it's too expensive! Then you have to buy the potatoes, the sweet potatoes, the stuffing, the green beans, the cranberry sauce, and everything else. Plus you have to make so much food that your stuck eating it for days! "

Overruled. Really overruled. Phyllis and I are gourmets (I hate the term "Foodies"), but we are also cheap. So we shop frugally. We set threshold prices for food, we use coupons, we chase sales on the internet, match prices, split cases, and keep a freezer.

Threshold pricing though is the big one that we use.

	MUST	DON'T
	BUY	BUY
Item	BELOW	OVER
Chicken	0.69	1.29
Turkey	0.69	1.29
Beef	0.99	1.99
Pork	0.99	2.99
Diet Soda	0.69	1.29

A couple of weeks ago when we found Butterball turkeys at $0.48 a pound, we bought several of them. Quality wise, I have never felt the need to go out of my way for a specific brand of turkey before. But after having these Butterball turkeys, I am beginning to wonder. They were juicy and flavorful. I don't think they were injected with any sort of soy brine, they just tasted good. We may make the point to get this brand again. But if we can find them at $0.48 a pound, we WILL get them again.



"Objection! Turkey can only be cooked one way. Dull, bland, overcooked, dried out, blah, gray, tired, uninspired, juiceless, boring, dreary, plain..."

Ugh... Objection noted... and overruled."

"But..."

Cooked one way? Last week we made a Pulled Turkey BBQ. We've also made Chipotle Turkey, Turkey in Buffalo Sauce, and Deep Fried Turkey. In fact last night we made Butterflied Whiskey Turkey.

"A ha! Objection! Turkey takes to long to cook!"

Overruled. Let me present my case.

If you butterfly your bird, also know as "Spatchcocking" you can cut your cook time in half. Look, this is a great method for any foul: chicken, duck, Cornish game hen, even goose. Because it takes less time to cook, you can cook it at a lower temperature and it won't dry out.

How to Butterfly or Spatchcock a Turkey

Method

Take your defrosted turkey (You'd have to be a lot stronger than me to do this with a frozen bird!)










Flip it breast side down and remove the tail (aka The Pope's Nose)










Save all of the odd little bits and pieces.



I put them in a kettle and boil them. The broth produced can be used later on for making gravy.



Work down one side of the backbone with a pair of poultry shears, then the other. Does it matter which one you start with? YES! If you buy a left handed turkey you must start on the right hand side, and visa-versa. No exceptions.



Remove the backbone. Add it to the stock.



Flip the bird back over and press down on the breast bone. When you hear a loud crack, the bird should lie flat. (I know it looks like I'm giving the turkey CPR... trust me, he didn't make it)

Your bird is now prepped and ready to go. At this point you have lots of different options. If you have time, I recommend you brine your turkey. Last night, I didn't have time.

Butterflied Whiskey Turkey

Ingredients

• 12-14 pound turkey
• 1 tablespoon ground sage
• 2 tablespoon garlic powder
• 1 tablespoon paprika
• 1 tablespoon adobo powder (available in most supermarket Mexican sections)
• 1 tablespoon sea salt
• 1/2 cup Kentucky Bourbon Whiskey

Instructions

• Preheat oven to 325 degrees
• Lift the skin from the bird and rub the flesh with the sage garlic and adobo. Be sure to get the breasts, legs, and thighs.
• Pierce skin in several locations with a sharp knife.
• Sprinkle liberally with sea salt, paprika, and any remaining garlic powder
• Place turkey into oven

• Cook approximately 20 minutes per pound or until the juices run clear when pierced with a fork.

• Remember that since the bird has been butterflied it will take less time per pound.
• Remove from oven and allow the turkey to rest for at least 5 minutes before slicing.

We served it with freshly grated potato hash browns and peas and carrots.


"Objection!"

Oh, don't start again.

Until next time my friends, I wish you Peace, Love, and Hollandaise Sauce!

When zombies go shopping after work

We've all done it. It's been a long day at work. You skipped breakfast. Lunch was something that came in a wrapper, greasy fries, and something sticky and sweet to drink. At around 4:00, you excused yourself from your 3rd meeting of the day. You found the coffee machine, the one with the German chef on it. He's looking down at the cup in his hand wondering if he was paid enough to shill this mud. Oh, and it is mud. The candy machine is out of Snickers bars, well it is now - thanks to Bob in accounting. That leaves Mallo Cups. (What the hell is a Mallo Cup?) Might as well get the trail mix, at least people will think you eat healthy.

So now it's time to go home. Quick call home first...

"Hey honey, did you take something out for dinner?"
"No. Can you stop at the store?"
"Um sure, I guess. What do you want?"
"I don't know. What ever looks good..."

Nooooooooooooooo!!!!

I'm barely coherent at 5PM as it is and now I have to go shopping. I have no energy left at this point. All I want to do is go home, and collapse into a rumpled heap on the bed for a nap.

Truthfully, shopping isn't really the problem, it's the decision making processes while I'm in the store. So I pull into the parking lot of the supermarket, find my way to a shopping cart, (you know the one with the wobbly wheel) and start wandering the aisles. I'm in full on zombie mode now, who knows what I'll come home with!

What's funny is watching the other people wandering the aisles in the same mode as me. Wait, I'm the only one? Oh, everyone else went and got pizza. Damn it, I don't want to go out to eat!


Ok, let's do this. If I can just think. Break it down. Dinner... healthy, fast. Something to drink. And a little dessert. Healthy and fast that equals salad. Something to drink, how about some peach-orangeade? Finally, a dessert, fresh blueberries over lemon sherbet.

Mandarin Chicken Salad

Ingredients

• 1 pound boneless skinless chicken breast
• 1 head Romaine lettuce
• 8 ounces cherry tomatoes
• 4 ounces almond slivers
• 1 can Mandarin oranges, drained (reserve the juice)
  
• 1/4 cup balsamic vinegar
• 1/4 teaspoon sea salt
• 1/4 teaspoon pepper
• 1 tablespoon honey
• 2/3 cup olive oil
• 1/4 cup Parmesan Cheese
• 1 clove garlic chopped

Instructions

1. Wash, drain and coarsely tear lettuce.
2. Drain the oranges, reserving juice.
3. Add oranges, almonds, and tomatoes to lettuce
4. Place vinegar, juice, honey, salt, pepper, and garlic in a small sauce pan and simmer 2 to 3 minutes. Allow to cool.
5. In a nonstick pan over medium-high heat, brown chicken breasts. Turn as needed. Cook approximately 15 minutes or until cooked through.
6. Slice chicken breasts and add to salad.
7. Combine cooled vinegar mixture and olive oil.
8. Drizzle vinaigrette over salad and sprinkle cheese.

Peach Orangeade

Ingredients

• 2 cups orange juice
• 1/4 cup lime juice
• 1 liter sparkling water
• 16 ounce can sliced peaches in juice

Instructions

1. In blender, combine orange juice, lime juice, and peaches in juice.
2. Blend for 15 - 20 seconds.
3. Add Club soda and serve over ice.

Simple dinner, quick, and fairly healthy. Now I can go take my nap. Oh wait, I have a blog to write... yeah.

Until next time, Peace, Love, and Hollandaise Sauce!

Winter got you down? Think GRILLING!

Here in Wilkes it's snowing again. We're looking at another inch tonight. Now if you live in Minnesota or Denmark that may be nothing, but an inch of snow closes down everything here. Businesses will shut down. Schools will shutter. There will be panicked buying at the grocery stores. Mass hysteria!

Sigh.

Problem is, I love snow. It's pretty. It makes the ground crunchy and shiny. The world looks new. The roads are quiet.



I like snow. I like snow. (trying to convince myself) I like snow. (I have to drive to work in this in the morning) I like snow. (The kids will be home watching cartoons and drinking cocoa and I will be at work tomorrow). I like snow, right?

Sigh. I miss Spring. Let's face it. Winter has me down. Football season is over. Sure there's the playoffs but I'm a Dolphins fan and a Panthers fan. Football season is VERY over for me.

No playoffs.

I'm a Nascar Fan too. No races near here until March. My point is, there will be no tailgating until Spring. (The Carolina Hurricanes are too far away to tailgate at too). As tragedies go, this ranks fairly low on the needs-a-telethon-meter, but I do miss tailgating. Why? I miss my grill.

There are alternatives to grilling in Winter.

(1) Grill with Charcoal.

I hate to admit it here, but I buck the trend, I use gas. Here's why. Phyllis and I like to say we are prepared for any cooking emergency. This is why we have two portable grills. They are small, fast to set up and light, provide good control, quick heat up and quick cool down. They fit in the back of the van with no problem. We can be set up and cooking in 15 minutes. We can be cooled down, cleaned up and put away in 20 minutes or less. The problem in Winter is that propane does not like to flow as temperatures drop under 40 degrees Fahrenheit. Now if I use charcoal, I can't start my cooking as fast and I can't stop it as quickly. I rarely grill at home, so this presents issues.

I won one of these from Budweiser last year!

(2) Use a stovetop indoor grill

This is a fair option, but still not quite the same. If you do use one, there are a couple of rules I recommend you follow:

• Do use a cast iron grill pan
• Season it well (see Lodge's instructions)
• DO NOT use a cast iron grill pan if you have a glass top stove.
• Keep your kitchen well ventilated, you will make your pan very hot to sear your food, therefore you will produce smoke.
  

(3) CHEAT!

Become good friends with the people that own the local BBQ restaurants in town an learn how they make their sauces. Find sales at the local hardware store on last year's models that didn't sell. (Most chains are getting geared up for spring RIGHT NOW and want to get rid of EVERYTHING that's left). Take a vacation to the beach, in Florida or points south and bring your grill.


Sadly though, we are still left with what to do with today. We have snow. The kids are home watching Sponge Bob, and I'm at work. I love my kids, but I want revenge...

Hot Chili Chocolate

Don't call Social Services on me, this is not as bad as you think. Chili pepper, Vanilla Bean, and Chocolate all hit the same receptors on your tongue, therefore the flavors will enhance each other.

Ingredients

• 1 2/3 cups milk
• 1/2 vanilla bean
• 1/4 cup heavy cream
• 1/2 teaspoon cayenne pepper
• 1/2 teaspoon ground cinnamon
• 5 ounces good-quality semi-sweet chocolate, coarsely chopped

Instructions

1. Split the vanilla bean, lengthwise.
2. In a saucepan, heat milk to simmering with vanilla bean and infuse for 10 minutes
3. Over double boiler, melt semi-sweet chocolate. Whisk in heavy cream, cayenne pepper, and cinnamon.
4. When chocolate is smooth, remove vanilla bean from milk and scrape into chocolate.
5. Slowly pour milk into chocolate.

Now to satisfy the grill master in you that's been hibernating all winter

Quick Grilled Italian Hoagie

Ingredients

• 1 pound Italian sausage
• 1 green pepper, sliced
  
• 1 onion, chopped coarsely
  
• 1 pound boneless skinless chicken breasts
• 1/2 pound provolone cheese
• 1/4 cup grated Parmesan cheese
• 1 teaspoon oregano
• 1 teaspoon red wine vinegar
• Olive Oil
• 1 loaf crusty Italian Bread

Instructions

1. Cut up sausage into 1 to 2 inch pieces. Slice chicken into 1 to 2 inch pieces.
2. Put oven on broil.
3. Heat your cast iron grill pan to "thermo-nuclear" (or hot as you can, but my stove goes all the way to 11)
4. Slice your Italian bread in half, brush with olive oil and toast on grill pan. You are looking to toast lightly, not to blacken so watch this step carefully! When toasted, set aside.
5. Add additional oil to pan then add sausage and chicken. Allow it to get some grill marks before moving and turning.
6. Add cut up onions and peppers and continue to cook sausage and chicken until cooked through, about 12 minutes total. If the onions and peppers still have crunch, that's ok.
   
7. Remove from pan, place on Italian bread.
8. Shake olive oil, red wine vinegar, Parmesan cheese, and oregano over meat and vegetables.
9. Cover with provolone and place under broiler for 5 minutes or until cheese begins to bubble.

Well I hoped you liked today's blog. It was a little less sappy than yesterday's I think.

A little bit of business before we finish up though. The "Bribe" give-away is still going on. I still have a couple more spots. If you favorite me and let me know about, preferably in the comments, by the end of this week I will get you a handmade item (of my choosing).

My Intern tells me a lot of you have "stumbled" over here. Welcome, stay! Have some pie. Coffee?

Finally, I have mentioned before this is a work in progress, your comments are welcome. If you have any feedback, even corrections, please let me know.

Until next time world, I wish you Peace, Love, and Hollandaise Sauce!